“What a dump!”*

“What a dump!”*   What’s wrong with landlords these days…it seems that all they do is complain about what pigs their tenants are and how they don’t ever respect ‘their’ property.  It doesn’t matter whether these “pigs” are Section 8 or high-rolling investment brokers; nobody treats their property with appropriate respect!   My question to you landlords is “what are you thinking”? Complaining about ‘furniture’ dents in carpet that’s reached even the IRS’s definition of ‘end-of-life’…just trying eek one more year or three out of a nasty piece of carpet that was low-budget when installed a mere twelve years ago…not to mention that the ’upgraded’ pad has now turned to dust from deep-cleaning with store leased wet-vacs.   What exactly do you expect from your tenants?  So, this is an opportunity to snag some of the SD for damage to the carpet? And, let’s not forget the “No, you can’t have pets - they’ll tear up the carpeting.”The auxiliary locks on the front door have been replaced so often there is no more solid wood moulding in which to install the chain, deadbolt, hook & eye …  Would it be too much to replace the door moulding once every 20 years … especially when the screws simply fall out of the wood?Oh, and let’s not forget the charming toilet seat.  No, you don’t have to replace the entire toilet but a new toilet seat might be a gracious addition when you notice that the existing seat is cracked, has been scrubbed so frequently that the paint is missing in spots and it’s being held on by only one hinge… why this is perfectly acceptable…of course, reseating the toilet itself might be a good idea and, gee, just might prevent some catastrophic and costly event involving water and wood. Perhaps, at least, keep the sealer fresh around the base which might prevent the floor from rotting through - or encouraging a new location for the burgeoning roach population that’s outgrowing the non-functioning icemaker fitting in the landlord furnished refrigerator (let’s that was new in … 89!)

“The nasty smell, hmmm, yeah that’s wood rot from a leaky sink in the kitchen/bathroom/laundry.  It’s been repaired - no it doesn’t leak anymore.  Yeah, it will smell for a while.  Oh, about 5 years ago…!”   The nastiest stuff I’ve ever found in rental homes that were advertised as “move-in ready” (and I am not making this up):Mouse droppings & the dead owners (this would be the mice)Mildew covering every wooden surface, including the back of the front door Grease covering every surface in the kitchen and the windows

Cooking grease stalactites dripping from the exhaust fan

Cooking grease oozing from open weave curtains that came with the rental property

Dead scorpions

Live snakes

Brown water from faucets

No water from the faucets

Dead litter of kittens (nope, my mistake, that was on our sail boat)

Used unflushed toilets

Carpet & vinyl flooring that was original - this would be a 1945 SF - the vinyl was actually in pretty good shape, but the carpet crunched when walked on…it sounded like rice crispies had crawled under it…

Food in the refrigerator

Food in the pantry

Clothes in the washer 

So, my point with all of this ranting is…this is a business.  Once we move property from our private domain into the public/commercial domain we become landlords and are in the business to make money. We will make money…but making money and offering marginalized housing for our tenants is counterintuitive.  If we expect our tenants/clients to take care of the property/our investment, then we need to invest in the maintenance and care of the property as well.  We won’t make any money if the property is sitting empty because we can’t be bothered to make the simplest improvements - we’re sending the message to prospective tenants that we don’t care about the property, so why should they?  * Famous line of dialogue spoken by Bette Davis in the 1949 film, Beyond the Forest. Probably best remembered when delivered by Elizabeth Taylor in the opening scene of the 1966 film Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf.